Zephanie's goals for this summer:

Summer is coming up. Here's a list of goals I have set for myself:

1) Get a tan. Last year I went back to school after summer vaca looking like the undead. If you could buy complexions in boxes like hairdye, my particular brand would be called "shockingly pasty pale." I am white...almost translucent, some say. Much of this, I assume, has to do with my WASPy genetics, but I have a feeling a lot of the reason I was so pale last september was because I hardly stepped food outside the entire summer. I can't remember why. I think his name may have rhymed with "cryin'." (you may not believe that i would stoop so low to write a country song called "brian, you left me cryin." if this is true, you regard me too highly. lower you expectations, friends. Briiiiiiiiiiiaaaannn....you left me.......CRRRYYYYIN')

2) Convince Grandma to Get a Haircut. If I have to, I will cut it myself. I need to get that woman to a hairdresser - the other day I overhead a homeless man telling her she looked like a slob. He may have even given her some money. She looks like a ragamuffin. I need to get her to the salon, and fast, but a rag heavily dosed in chloroform may be involved.

3) Make New Friends. Grandma's nice, but she falls asleep mid-conversation and farts at the dinner table. It's time for an upgrade. Perhaps someone my age?

4) Find new job. I work at a movie store. We also sell CD's ,computer games, and books, I should add. And Andy, the creepy guy who works afternoons, sells Oxycotton. It's a fun place to work...but I have a feeling there are greener pastures out there, somewhere. Maybe these pastures also pay more than minumum wage once you find them. Who knows.

5) Find new boyfriend. I cannot believe i've gone an entire year without being in a relationship. I need to move on. Brian, shmian, I say! He's gone (California) for good so i need to get myself back on the market! Was I ever on the market? I mean Brian and I had kind of been dating since preschool. Bah! I need new prospects. Unfortunately, most of the guys I work with are either hard-core online gaming basement dwellers, or...nope...they're all online gaming basement dwellers. Actually, they all game together. With the headsets and everything...you know...make teams and shoot each other online all night while chitchatting to each other using codenames and avatars. Sexy.

6) Blog more. This is just the beginning. Obviously, this is going to be the most intensely fun summer vacation yet, so stay tuned!

Until later, I love you ALL

Zeph